Master “Emotional Bidding”, Or Your Personal And Online Communities Will Fall

By Greg Audino

Ever heard of emotional bidding? It’s one of the biggest determining factors for whether or not your relationships succeed long-term.

In fact, the research gathered from a six-year study of newlyweds performed by The Gottman Institute - one of the world’s leading relationship research centers - suggests that “​​couples who stayed together turned toward each other’s emotional bids 86% of the time, while those who went on to divorce turned toward each other’s bids only 33% of the time.”

What Is An Emotional Bid?

An emotional bid is when one person reaches out to another in order to get their attention. This could be something as simple as a quiet comment about the weather, or as obvious as giving someone a big hug.

Responding with excitement or even neutrality goes a long way, and is much better for the relationship than not responding at all, or responding with aggression.

Spotting Emotional Bids From Your Online Community

For content creators or online leaders, responding to the emotional bids of their audience is just as important. Some examples of emotional bids from your followers include:

- Shoutouts
- Comments
- DMs
- Tags
- Likes

Even the most successful creators will fail if they do not turn towards the bids of their audience. But with so much to do, how can you find the time to engage with everybody?

How Busy Creators Can Respond To Emotional Bids

Creators are people, not machines. You cannot necessarily respond to all of your audience’s bids, and there is no rule saying you have to. So how can you walk the line between engaging with your community, and respecting your own time and boundaries? Here are some ideas:

  1. Acknowledge Your Lack of Time

Make regular announcements to your audience that you love all of their effort and support even if you don’t have time to thank them individually. Remind them that none of it would be possible without them, and that you appreciate everything they do.

  1. Respond With Emojis

Many top creators keep up by responding to emotional bids with emojis. Typing out whole responses is time-consuming and creates expectations. Drop an emoji that shows how you’re feeling.

  1. Giveaways

Giveaways and prizes are concrete evidence that lets your audience know that you care about them. Remind them that you like giving them items for free because you see all the good they do for you, and offer items that will be meaningful for them.

  1. Ask For Their Help

Send an emotional bid right back to your audience, and deliberately ask for their advice and what type of content they’d like to see from you or how they feel you could improve their experience.

  1. Feature Their Emotional Bids

Did someone make some cool fan art, or even leave a hilarious comment? Show it off in your next story and let them know that it got a strong reaction out of you.

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